He didn't always appreciate my snuggles

Between reminiscing about my 6 month long mission trip last year and my third current reading of the book "Kisses from Katie" which you can {and should!} order from here I am feeling pretty restless these past couple of days.

It's gotten so bad that I cannot seem to concentrate on ANYTHING and believe me when I say that the weather is not helping the situation at all. With the sunshine and the constant pull to be outside hiking and stuff it's very easy for me to want to drop everything and run away to a far country and love on some kids. I really believe that God has given me a heart for missions. But while the beginning of something new is always so exciting I realized that I am not even close to being finished with my current mission: to love right where I am.

Dancing

I think it's really easy to enter a brand new culture and love on people, because they know that's what you're there for and they welcome you with open arms. It's harder to do that here in the suburbs of St. Louis in the middle of America where everyone I know has three meals a day and doesn't have any issues with running water or electricity. It's so much harder to find God here when I have play lists and texts messages 239482 times in a 24 hour day. It's harder to feel God's love when I'm snuggled up in my blankets in my bed that's not on the floor and has never seen a cockroach in it.

So many smiles

God is so much easier to be found in the dirt and the sweat and the language barriers. His voice which is so loud in those places is barely more than a whisper in my American culture.

Jr. and Brittany enjoying beans and corn tortillas 

But that's where I am right now. I am here. I am getting ready to get married to a wonderful guy, and become a mom to a perfect little boy. As much as I would LOVE to adopt 28 kids from Africa and raise them, God is telling me to open my eyes and see the gift of life He has given me right now. My mission right now is to love Alex and Cub. Right here in the comfort and headache known as America.

Me and Darlon

So until Cub is born and the Zika virus is over with. Until I find my dream job of working for an international adoption agency. Until I am able to here babies chattering in different languages and pushing away my pestering kisses. I will love here. And I will do my best to love my hardest.