am I good enough?

I woke up this morning and laid there grinning under my sheets at the sun dancing through my window. I had that warm, tingly feeling you get when you wake up on Christmas or your birthday, but in someways this anticipation is a little bit better...10 more Sundays and I will have my sweet little bear cub wrapped up in bed next to me snoring away!!! Wow. I don't know why but for some reason it's REAL now. 7 more weeks until I am officially considered "full term" and can deliver a healthy baby boy! 10 more Sundays of planning, and organizing, and cleaning, and adventuring before I have a little bear that I have to juggle as well.

This journey has been crazy emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally. Words cannot begin to describe how grateful I am that I have had such an easy pregnancy, compared to some of the moms I have heard about. I've been healthy and fairly active and sometimes I still forget that I'm pregnant and I get so confused about why people keep bringing up baby subjects around me. Oh well. Soon enough I'll have my squirming little bear cub in my arms and be able to tickle him and kiss him and cuddle him. I'm praying for an easy labor and delivery!

On our way to the Doctor's this past week! 

Still haven't taken any birthing classes yet. But I've read a lot. I hate those people. Those people that show up and say, "I've never done it before but I've read lots about it." People used to do that with horses. Let me tell you, it's so much different in real life. You can read about it for a lifetime and yet you will not be the best equestrian when you get out there for the first time. You will know how to place your heels and hands and where to look but that doesn't mean that your muscle memory will automatically place you in perfect position every time you climb into the saddle. You may be able to recite every single piece of tack in the barn./ but that doesn't mean you're going perfectly tack your pony on the first try.

Anyway, as I climb off my soapbox, I look back in history and see the trillions of women who have brought babies into this world. I'm fairly certain the count of cave women and their spouses attending Lamaze classes is in the 0 percentile. So yes. I plan on reading a bit on birth and some helpful techniques to keep me from ripping Alex's head off, but ignorance is sometimes bliss. And I'm banking on that. I promise not to walk in there acting like I know everything. I promise. 

The Bear Cub Bump this morning! 

TDAP. I was confronted with this vaccination at my last appt. this past week and they are giving me a short 2 weeks to weigh the pros and cons {because my Dr. is a saint and I love her for never forcing me into anything.} before my next appt. I've read some, and prayed lots. And I've made my decision. 

No vaccination for me and Cub, thanks.

I'm not condemning you for choosing to get the vaccination. And I will most likely be the condemned one in others eyes for not following my doctors advice blindly and doing whatever I can to prevent sickness in my baby boy. But then again the material that I've read so far says that there isn't that much proof of it helping babies not contract the whooping cough. And who has the whooping cough in June???

On a lighter note, I am QUITE proud of myself for accomplishing that which I thought impossible! Get this: in the past two days I have stayed up til 11:30 pm and midnight respectively. I thought my staying out late nights with friends was gone for good. Look at me, I'm like freaking superwoman! And this morning I only slept in til 8! I have hope for my social life in the future...By the way, who knew my baby daddy was so great at Disney karaoke?! #blessed ...I'm pretty sure he's gargling salt water this morning...

mmmmmm love that man

Alex and I are counting down the next 70 days with excitement!!! CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU BABY BEAR! XOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOX