To the People who Don't Support My Family
My heart was ripped open and laid there bleeding on the table in front of me. I had no words. My mouth was dry. I was numb. In shock. Your words I know were not meant to be hurtful. But you have no idea the damage my soul has just taken. I honestly don't remmeber the rest of dinner. I must have blacked out. You didn't say it. But I could see the questions in your eyes that went unspoken. And yet the unsaid words laid between us like an ocean seperatign us.
Why bring a baby into this country when there are so many here already?
There are plenty of kids needing homes in the foster care systems. Just wake up and smell the roses already.
It's cheaper to adopt here in America than it is in Africa.
It has been over two years since that conversation took place in that restaurant, and ironically enough the person who said those things has now become an advocate for international adoption, but it was still the first time I realized: not everyone is going to understand or support my family and the ways we are growing.
And it hurt. It took me a long time to get over. The amount of prayer I prayed down on that person {and others who I've come to meet in the past two years} is unbelievable. This post {which has been sitting in my draft box for two years!} went from littered with hate and anger, hurt feelings and bad words to one of peace and understanding. I have had to edit, cut, and delete. I've had to pray, retype, edit, pray, finish sentences. Deep down I think I will always be hurt when people raise their eyebrows. But not because that has any influence on my tribe and the way we define our family, but rather because those people will never know the joy of saying, "yes!" of wanting to travel across the world and meet your new child for the first time.
Alexander and I are still a ways off from getting the adoption ball rolling legally. But there is such a relief in knowing that we have already taken the first steps, we have already whispered, "yes" to God and held each others hands as we prayed for our future children and the country that they live in. We pray that our children will be taken care of until we can wrap them up in our arms and hold them tight to our hearts. We read all the adoption blogs and research different countries cultures, customs, and I'm already figuring out ways to celebrate those lifestyles in our own home.
So, to the People who don't support my Family, that's ok. I understand. We are praying for you and sending lots of love from where we are in our space. I hope one day you come to have as much love pouring out of your heart as we are pouring in to it.
Why bring a baby into this country when there are so many here already?
There are plenty of kids needing homes in the foster care systems. Just wake up and smell the roses already.
It's cheaper to adopt here in America than it is in Africa.
It has been over two years since that conversation took place in that restaurant, and ironically enough the person who said those things has now become an advocate for international adoption, but it was still the first time I realized: not everyone is going to understand or support my family and the ways we are growing.
And it hurt. It took me a long time to get over. The amount of prayer I prayed down on that person {and others who I've come to meet in the past two years} is unbelievable. This post {which has been sitting in my draft box for two years!} went from littered with hate and anger, hurt feelings and bad words to one of peace and understanding. I have had to edit, cut, and delete. I've had to pray, retype, edit, pray, finish sentences. Deep down I think I will always be hurt when people raise their eyebrows. But not because that has any influence on my tribe and the way we define our family, but rather because those people will never know the joy of saying, "yes!" of wanting to travel across the world and meet your new child for the first time.
Alexander and I are still a ways off from getting the adoption ball rolling legally. But there is such a relief in knowing that we have already taken the first steps, we have already whispered, "yes" to God and held each others hands as we prayed for our future children and the country that they live in. We pray that our children will be taken care of until we can wrap them up in our arms and hold them tight to our hearts. We read all the adoption blogs and research different countries cultures, customs, and I'm already figuring out ways to celebrate those lifestyles in our own home.
So, to the People who don't support my Family, that's ok. I understand. We are praying for you and sending lots of love from where we are in our space. I hope one day you come to have as much love pouring out of your heart as we are pouring in to it.
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